An amazing new product for men!

I think I should patent this idea:
Guys, imagine if instead of hoping to catch your balls residue after you climax with tissues you just wear webbed gloves!
I need to use photoshop some more.
Btw...I see a lot of blogs that upload content that isn't theirs.  Come up with something original instead of applying a simple copy and paste.  

Family Circus blows

I might make this a thing on my blog...
I hate the "Family Circus".  I've always hated "Family Circus".  So I decided to edit the caption to one of Bil Keane's many terrible funnies. 

I return hungry.

Hey everyone,
Yeah I'm back.  Sorry for going away.  Walt Disney presents 101 apologies.

The reason for my absence is that I was studying for the GRE's.  I'm done with them and now I'm going to post fun stuff again starting today.

Below is an original [10] guy meme that I came up with.  Enjoy. 

 http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3odhwt/


-Novelpiece

Stone Cold Steve Austin

I used to watch wrestling a lot when I was a kid.  As time went on I just got bored of it and I dismissed it because...well it's stupid.  It really is the dumbest form of entertainment but it's such a hoot.  Recently I got back into it and I decided to look up some of my more favorite matches back in the day.  A lot of these matches involved Stone Cold Steve Austin, a heel that I hated back in the day. 

Now I can't get enough of the sonofabitch. 

He's such a textbook badass and I truly wish I could deliver a stunner to anyone who bothers me...and have it like...you know...work. 

Lol there's no reason why any given wrestlers "finishing move" should do more damage than any other move.  The Rock's "Rock Bottom" for example is just a very simple slam.  That's it. 

Like I said before, this shit is dumb but it's a hoot. 

My cousin is a sarcastic kid

You might have heard about this X-mas thing that recently happened.  If it doesn't sound familiar it's also called Christmas.  My cousin Luke decided to send my Mom and Dad a thank you note for their gift to him (lacrosse balls).  Below is the thank you note:

 *In case you can't read it*
Uncle Dan and Joanne,
Thank you for the lacrosse balls.  There were 12, They are red.  Red is the color of my science folder and 2 out of the 11 family photo albums.  Thank you
 From,
Luke

He's 16 and a half.  I lost it when I read the note so I decided to write a thank you note for the thank you note:

 

My response:
Dearest cousins Luke and Ken (my other cousins name is Kyle)
I am glad you liked our gifts.  I knew that you two liked the color red because I once saw you two wearing red shirts once. 
Because I love both of you, I took the liberty of including a list of red things written on red ink on red paper. 
Love your older (thus superior) cousin,
John

Here's what is on the list:
Apples
Roses
Blood
Tomatoes
Matador's Cape
Paint (sometimes)
Twizzlers
Any given item on Valentines Day

Apologize to cavemen- Skyrim release date

I would like to apologize to any cavemen I might have offended yesterday.  By implying that a caveman could be a scumbag I did not mean to imply that all cavemen are scumbags. 

In the meanwhile, this image that I created not too long ago is certainly no longer relevant...but my pet peeve behind it still lingers. 

I loved Skyrim despite some of the game flaws...but that whole release date irked me.  You see a lot of films try to make release dates look cool.  Just release it when you're ready to release it I say. 

Some people defend this sub-par marketing strategy by saying that it helps us remember the release date.  Well maybe it does but can anyone honestly say that they would have forgotten about Skyrim if the release date was 11/12/11? 

"Oh man I'm so excited for Skyrim, gonna be great!"

"Hm?"  What now?"

"The Oblivion sequel."

"I...I don't remember."

"Yeah it's coming out on the 11'th."

"Oh that's right Dragons!" 

Create a meme failure

I tried to create a meme.  This is a cardinal sin on the internet.  One does not simply create a meme.  I've noticed a growing trend with all of the spin-off scumbag *blank* memes.  Check out the ones below:
*Note* I did NOT create the three images below.  They were just the first memes to come up when I searched for "scumbag" on reddit.

 http://imgur.com/ETTf4
 http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/12/12773/13079892.jpg
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35p013/

If you'll notice all of the punchlines deal with hypocrisy.  On a simpler level these jokes revolve around the same delivery:
"Promises something good"
"Delivers something bad"

So I was wondering if I could simply create the most basic...or primitive form of meme to illustrate this common delivery in a satirical sort of way.
Ladies and Gentlemen (If I left gentlemen uncapitalized would feminists like me more?) I introduce to you a very failed meme...scumbag caveman.

The main reason why this meme sucks is because....it's only good for one joke lol.  Unless others can prove me wrong in the comments.